How (not) to annoy an introvert.

In this article you will learn about how to annoy most introvert and why you should actually avoid it.

If you really don’t know what an introvert is you should read an article written by Brian Kim. The brief explanation of an introvert is as follows:

Introversion is “the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life”. Introverts tend to be low-key, deliberate, and relatively passive in social situations. They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, drawing, watching movies, and using computers. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, composer, and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though they tend to enjoy interactions with close friends. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement. They are more analytical before speaking.

You should also know that shyness has nothing to do with being an introvert.

Introversion is not the same as shyness. Introverts choose solitary over social activities by preference, whereas shy people avoid social encounters out of fear.

I’m pretty sure you have an idea what an introvert is by now, but there are a few things you should know, specially as an extrovert. What is normal for an extrovert can be extremely annoying for or even rude towards an introvert.

1. Tell an introvert to be more social.
   If you really want to annoy and even alienate your introvert friend or loved one you should force them to be social by telling them that they have to be more social. You should also mention that by being social is what is expected of normal people.
   Introverts prefer most of the time to stay at home reading a book or creating something than going out with a bunch of people at the pub. It’s not that an introvert doesn’t want to be with you, but more that he/she wants to be by him/herself instead. Introverts “recharge” by being by themselves.
2. Tell an introvert to talk more.
   If you want an introvert to never talk to you again you should let them know that they should talk more and try to include them in every conversation.
   Introverts tend to stick to the facts and what is practical. If you ask an introvert how the weather is, you will be either be given a short answer like: “The weather is okay”; or they will give a an explanation you would expect from a meteorologist.
   Introverts love talking about their field of interest; but they have no interest in talking about something they have no interest in. When it comes to small talk introverts really don’t see the point of it; as it has no practical use to them.
3. Don’t let introverts join the conversation.
   Keep in mind, it’s you who matters and if you let people speak you have lost! So don’t let any one speak or always interrupt people when speaking; specially if they are introverts. As introverts are really annoyed by this.
   Introverts tend to be thinkers and very aware of themselves, therefore they prefer to think before they speak so they can present their view the best way. That is also why most introverts never join a conversation as people who are mostly extroverted tend to speak non-stop and has some strange phobia towards a few seconds silence in a conversation. So extroverts tend to “fight” to get a word in between each other, making introverts see it as a waste of time.
   Introvert also dislike being interrupted when they are speaking. As they are thinkers some of what they say is something they have spent some time thinking about, so interrupting them can actually be very rude and hurting.
4. Tell an introvert that this is fun.
   If you find something very fun you should force an introvert to do it and tell him/her it is fun. And if they ask why it is fun, just let them know it’s fun because you say so and everyone else does it. Introverts hate being forced to do things.
   As mentioned, introverts are very aware of who they are and what they like. Telling an introvert that he/she should do this and that because that is expected, normal, nice and such rarely sounds logical to them, and is also a great way to alienate them. Introverts grow up by being told constantly they are strange, not normal, shy, not social and many other negatively loaded words and that they should change; they really don’t need to be told this any more. Telling someone who is actually quiet normal to constantly change is extremely rude.
5. Tell an introvert to stop being so honest.
   If you want to insult and confuse an introvert you should tell him/her that they should stop being so honest.
   Introverts are thinkers and focus on facts. If something is green, it is green; simple as that. It’s not that introverts are selfish or lacking empathy, they look at the world as it is. They tend to be very logical beings and prefer to be honest than lie about something. If you can’t handle the truth, don’t ask an introvert for it; because you will for sure get an honest answer. And it’s not our fault you can’t handle the truth.
6. Don’t let an introvert read his/her book in peace.
   If you see an introvert working on something or reading a book, go bother them as that will really annoy them.
   As you read earlier, introverts needs time alone and solitude to “recharge” and to feel happy. When they go into that state of mind they should never ever be bothered. There’s nothing more annoying to having to read a sentence 10 times, lose your focus when creating something or just losing focus in general. Doing this to an introvert is like getting woken up in the middle of the night when you are sleeping. I’m pretty sure how most of you find it annoying when you wake up in the middle of the night. The more you let an introvert be by him/herself, the less they have to take mini breaks and they are more likely to spend time with you.
7. Let the introvert know what they are doing is a waste of time.
   What ever they are doing, reading, creating or what not, let them know that it is a waste of time.
   As with most things introverts do, it is very important to them. For the observer it might look strange, but for the introvert it makes perfect sense. Telling them what they are doing is childish and useless is like telling them they have no purpose in life. If what they are doing is not hurting anyone, let them do it. Just because they aren’t out binge drinking doesn’t mean they are not having fun. And what do you know, this might be their break through in life.

If you constantly want to change that person you should consider to break of the friendship or relationship. Telling a friend or your loved one that they should do this and this as it is normal is not the right way to let them know you care for them or love them. As mentioned, introverts are told to change their whole life, and someone who is a friend or a significant other should not do such a thing.

Some might say that the biggest weakness for the introvert is that they aren’t so social, but it works out for them. We need people who are intoverted and takes time to think and ponder about things.
What might be extroverts biggest weakness, which is actually very negative, is that they are unable to accept people who don’t act extroverted.
I kind of find this a bit funny when it comes to extroverts, as some of them tend to constantly claim they are very empathic. With that said I’m pretty sure that more or less all introverts will beg to differ.

You would be surprised how many famous people that are introverts. Being an introvert I was surprised too read this list.

As an introvert I hope you found this article interesting and helpful (and even funny). Maybe so informative you might pass it on to your fellow extroverts (and introverts).
I also hope the extroverts out there found this article informative and helpful too. If you got insulted by reading this article, I suggest you read it again or have an introvert explain it to you.

Note: I promised that one of the things I would try to get people more aware about this year are introverts. As I’m an introvert I know how it is for most introverts in a world that seems to be run by extroverts.
I feel it is becoming more and more important to let people know how introverts work and we shouldn’t be looked at as freaks. We demand more respect, specially from extroverts. The world seems to becoming more and more anti-introversion, which will alienate a large group of people. Some who might help change the world.