Last time at the therapist* I was told that I should focus less on looking for work online and in newspapers, and rather focus on building a (real life) social network and try to get a job that way. I was a bit lost for words when I was told that, as my therapist is well aware I’m an introvert and shows great understanding for that.
I can understand where he’s coming from, as I’m new to the country it can and is important to have a social network. Sometimes that is a bit more difficult when you have a partner, as you tend to spend a lot of time with that person; and you tend to end up as partners because you enjoy each other’s company.
Being an introvert I’m not comfortable at all just walking up to a stranger and just starting talking non-stop about who I am; or as my therapist suggested, start hanging out at the local BMX store and talk with the staff. This is not just the introvert in me talking, but in general that’s just creepy. I’ve worked in retail, and the majority of those who actually did that were missing a few cards from the deck.
What I do find more appealing and logical is to try to join clubs, organisations and such, where it’s expected to be social and where you are more likely to find like-minded people.
At the moment I’m attending the monthly 2600 meetings and kind of enjoy them. The guys seem to know each other pretty well, but a I don’t feel like a stranger there.
My wife and I have also joined the vegan society, so we’ll be meeting local vegans.
Doing things like that, going to places where you are expected to be social and have common interests is far more appealing to me as an introvert. I think it’s also far better for most people in general than just being that new creepy stranger who talks to random people on the street.
I still briefly look for work online, as I don’t want to completely rule anything out. When I eventually start meeting people outside of these meetings I might heighten my chance of finding a job I will enjoy and prefer, but it doesn’t hurt looking for work the good old fashioned way.
Better to be safe than sorry.
Also it doesn’t help that I’m too content and very able to entertain myself. Give me a computer, a game or a book and I can be entertained for hours.
I would love to hear from you, the reader, if you have been in a similar situation and how you got through it; especially if you’re an introvert.
And please, no ‘you have to force yourself to be social’ comments.
* I’m not mentioning that I’m going to a therapist for sympathy, but more to advocate it’s okay to go to a therapist if you need help with you mental state. Sadly going to a therapist has and still is stigmatised. If you got a stomach ache, you go to your medical doctor; if you don’t feel fine mentally, why not go to a therapist?
devBear
05/10/2009
Unfortunately it’s an indisputable fact that’s it’s easier to find a job through social networking than through job listings either online or in the paper. But I do think it’s possible to meet people despite being an introvert (admittedly I’m not very good at it) and it sounds like you’re making a go of it. What about online social networking, like you already do some of? Can you meet people online with similar interests and hobbies who can help later hook you up with an interesting job? All the people who became my friends living in Miami I met at a blogger party…
xen
05/10/2009
Thanks for your reply devBear. :)
Well, you’re not alone not being good at meeting new people. :)
But yeah, I am trying byt going to the 2600 (hacker) meeting and that vegan meetup.
That has crossed my mind actually, meeting up with cool people I know on twitter or what not.
I’ll look into that a bit more, maybe even find a blogger group or something here in BrisVegas. :)
cb
09/10/2009
I think joining the clubs is a great idea, and devBear’s idea about meeting people you’ve come to know online is really cool, because you express yourself so well in writing, and they’ll already know you’re intelligent, etc.! I agree with you that you can’t just hang out in stores. :) Aside from the obvious creepiness, if you’re anything like me you’re not going to make a dazzling first impression. People usually don’t get to know me until we’ve worked or done other things side by side over the course of days and hours, so no stranger I walk up to is going to say, “Hey – I want to hire you!”
Come to think of it that did happen once at the END of a 10 week programming class though, because the guy behind me wanted to work with someone easy to get along with, and who better than a pleasant introvert.
Good luck – sounds like you’re on the right track!
xen
09/10/2009
Thanks for your comment. :)
I don’t know too many Aussies on the social networks, but I might show at a Reddit meetup soon.
I’m also considering printing a few t-shirts with a print that says:
“I’m looking for work. Ask me for my resume.”
Something like that. :)
cb
09/10/2009
Cool! Hey how ’bout meetup.com
http://www.meetup.com/find/?keywords=&country=au&locationPickerRef=0&dbCo=us&dbOutsideUsLink=&zip=meetup3&op=search&resetgeo=true&style=&submitButton=Search
xen
09/10/2009
That’s awesome!
I’ll have to play around more with that site. ^_^
JW
13/11/2009
I’ve been to a couple of therapists in the past. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with going to a therapist. I had severe depression when I went to the second therapist, and it did help me quite a bit, at the time.
But anyway, I checked out that site Meetup.com, a couple of months ago, because I definitely want to be a member of some social group in which I can meet people who share a common interest, instead of going up to random people on the street or in a store, and trying to make conversation, which would be considered creepy and annoying. I joined a book club on Meetup.com. I have yet to attend an actual meeting since I have to be home for the most part, in order to take care of my daughter. But hopefully, I can go to a meeting at some point.
xen
13/11/2009
I agree. It’s sad how going to a therapist is still stigmatised.
My therapist is great. Really cool and great!
I’ve been to a reddit (reddit.com) meetup and it was great fun. Think 12-15 went to a local pub and had a good time. It’s so much easier to socialise with like-minded people.