Your biggest mistake is to take my writing seriously.
What has amused only me is that some people take my writing a bit too seriously. It is even mor funny when people who know me take it too seriously. You would assume people who knew you would understand when you are being serious or when you are just being a bit crazy. It is kind of assuming that the author of ‘American Psycho’ wrote that book based on wishful thinking. Now that would be crazy, right?
If I got an Australian dollar for each time I was appraoched by someone asking me about what I have written I could probably go out for dinner a bit more often with Lizzie. If only people also gave me that dollar each time.
It has kind of made me, I think, made me understand what Hunter S. Thompson meant when he said that ‘ he did not know if I were to act like himself or the persona from his books’. Who should I really be? Should I be the real me or should I be xen? I know who would get me in more trouble and alienate people. Maybe I should let xen seep into reality, but I need to keep reality far away from xen; can not let that guy get more boring, right?
Writing is kind of like a direct access to my brain and my thoughts. Most of it is unfiltered and can shock you. The real me try to keep this chaos in control so it will not have a bad effect on my real life; but I am not sure for how long I can hold it back. Should I hold it back; should I just realise it all and see what happens?
This is what I love about the writings by Thompson and Nietzsche, they just wrote what they felt and would not give a shit what any one else thought about it. If someone did not like it, well, that was that persons problems, not theirs.
I can only hope this is step closer to understand what the true way of Gonzo is.
Better to write for yourself and have no public,
than to write for the public and have no self.
