.random[oid]archive

It never occurred to me that I would be this honest in my blog, but I reached a point where I thought ‘Fsck it!’
This is one of the reasons I write under a pseudonym; I am not famous enough to get away with some of it, and some of the stories I will tell you [especially] in this article would probably have had some kind of consequences for me. Either being fired for not being a snitch or having to flee the country for being a snitch.

I will not disclose at which company these things happened, but you should be able to add two and two together and make a good guess. Also, you are most likely using one of their products and calling them for support. Nothing like receiving technical support by someone fired up on drugs?

What kind of drugs do you need?
At most of my jobs we had managers who either did not speak any of the nordic languages or were rarely present; so some of my old colleagues had the bad, but kind of amusing, habit of talking about drugs between calls and on breaks. They also happily talked about the drugs they had one them or were planning to take while at work and see who could take the most and still be able to do their job.

Next time you call customer/technical support and they are willing to disclose they are located in The Netherlands, it is a 50/50 chance that the person might not be sober.

Drawing a line on your desk.
Suddenly I noticed a very stern manager walk towards a cubicle and take a colleague to one of the meeting rooms with a bunch of other managers. That person tended to be a bit out there, but did a good job— at least that was the word around the water cooler —and he was a pretty cool guy. We later learned that he had such an itch in his nose that he snorted a line of cocaine on his desk.
Who would have thought that would not be noticed; well, obviously he did.
We never saw him again — at work.

Having a smoke during a break.

It was not uncommon at some of my jobs that people would smoke more than tobacco during their breaks. That some managed to take calls was honestly impressive, but it could also be annoying if they were too high, as the customer would call back in hopes to get someone who was focused. Usually the customer was angry as hell because the imbecile who had few puffs too many wasn’t making any sense over the phone.
Some was so off their heads they would suddenly freak out and hangup on the customer; or they just put the customer on hold for several minutes and then hangup.

Usually those who took too much drugs at work didn’t work there for long.

That is not all.
Actually it is.
I might have more stories another time.

This is mainly why The Netherlands has such a bad reputation abroad. All these expats coming there to pretend to want to work, while their main reason is to get high on anything they can get their hands on. Doesn’t matter if it is in the morning, at work or whenever really.
The majority come there for the weed, but a few come there for all the drugs they can get their hands on.

If I think about it, the colleagues of mine who did not use any kind of drugs — not even marijuana — could probably be counted on one hand, maybe two; but of course they drank alcohol, bloody pansy hypocrites.

It makes me wonder if this is a problem unique to The Netherlands, or if it is common in most countries where drugs can be bought if you know the right people; which is most countries if you think about it.

I never had so much fun at work though.

Note: I did not take any drugs — at work.