Me, my introversion and CAPD.
As you might have seen on Twitter, it has been confirmed that I actually have CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder) and the test the missus and her classmate did was very accurate. It was confirmed by their professor who is a leading researcher of CAPD.
To be very specific, as CAPD is an umbrella term, so my issue is with competing auditory signals; or to be scientifically specific, I have issue with Binaural integration and Binaural Separation.
What that means, in very simple terms, is that the part of my brain that is responsible for handling auditory signals isn’t really doing the job it should do. This has nothing at all to do with intelligence or ability to learn; it only has to do with how my brain processes auditory signals.
To use a very simple example; when someone that doesn’t have CAPD is in a crowded area and is talking to someone, their brain has no issue at all focusing on what the other person is saying and kind of filtering out everyone else’ chatter. I on the other hand can have a problem, depending on the situation, and that can result in the information being a mish-mash of everything around me, so to me it is like I can’t hear what the other person is saying.
Kind of like having perfect hearing but being deaf.
There is no cure for CAPD, but I have been given a few lessons on how to better cope with CAPD.
Also knowing that you have CAPD helps a lot.
Being diagnosed with CAPD explained why I probably did so poorly at school, yet still managed to become a member of Mensa. The professor said that this is a perfect example that CAPD has nothing to do with intelligence or ability to learn, but specifically the ability for the brain to process auditory signals. Having an above average IQ has helped me adapt more easily as I have used it as crutch.
If I am writing, like I am doing now, or reading a book, I can not listen to music with lyrics, have the TV on or be around people talking as I lose my train of thought. This is also why I get so frustrated, even angry (but don’t mean to be mean), if someone interrupts me when I am writing.
The same happens if I am trying to watch TV and someone starts talking to me, I lose focus of what I am watching (listening to); because my brain is not sure how to decode the different auditory signals.
As it takes a lot of energy for me to concentrate when listening to several sources of auditory signals I can easily get tired, which again, explains why socializing can be very tiring to me and why I prefer to spend most of my time alone.
I was born an introvert. I know that because I have no urge to be like an extrovert, nor do I get frustrated for not being an extrovert. But I also have a suspicion that CAPD has made me more of an introvert than I might have been, not by much though. As some of the symptoms and expected behavior of someone with CAPD fits so perfectly with some of the personality traits of an introvert.
Being an introvert might actually have been a postive thing as it maybe made it easier for me to better cope with my CAPD.
Next time you notice a person who can not follow a conversation, loses concentration easily or seems like one of those troublemakers who has no interest in being part of society; before you judge that person, maybe he/she has CAPD and is not at fault for not being able to excel in something or pay attention like everyone else.
I wish someone gave that attention to me 20 years ago, but at least I know now and have to try to make the most of it. Who knows though, maybe if I got the help I needed I would have a bachelor, masters or even a Ph.D by now.
Note: I hope to write a very simple ‘what CAPD is and is not’ article later this week[, or next week].
I’m really interested to learn more about CAPD… is it possible to have it more or less than others? I, too, get REALLY annoyed when my husband interrupts me when I’m writing an e-mail or composing a blog. I have a lot of the same symptoms as you, but to a lesser extent… I’ve just always assumed it was part of being an introvert.
It is like any kind of disorder or illness, the severity will and can always vary from person to person.
The common cold is a perfect example, some get a snotty for a few days while other might become bed ridden for several days.
If you can get tested, do it. It is worth it. Even if you do not have CAPD, at least you have ruled it out and your GP can look at other possibilities.
Just knowing is such a relief in itself. And people will (should) become more respectful for your wishes when you ask for a more quiet setting so you can fully concentrate on what you are doing.
I hope to write a simple explanation of what CAPD is (more specific to the issue I have), to try to educate people about it.
I needed it verified by the missus, but I hope to publish it next week.