The same old random nothing
It’s one of those weeks. As a writer you have this annoying itch in your fingers. As if you have hundreds of ants crawling around under the skin of your fingertips. The only way to scratch that itch is to type — all day. Unfortunately your mind has decided to go catatonic. You sit down, ready to type, but all you do is to look at the blinking cursor with an empty stare.
Probably due to intoxication deprivation.
On Monday I have been offline from Facebook for a week. Already I’m leaning towards deleting my account. I’m actually thinking about it right now. Logging in and calling it quits. Just be done with it. What I’m doing right now is comparable to go on a break [when in a relationship]. You both know it is going nowhere, so instead of going cold turkey, you decide to go on a “break” to make the final blow less painful.
Only people I’ve been in touch with this week are those I’ve already sent an email, follow on Twitter or follow on Diaspora. Haven’t heard from anyone on Facebook. All I get are those emails from Facebook, trying to lure you back, by telling you that your so-called friends have posted new status updates. The very same friends that seemed eager to follow me on Facebook, but later kept quiet.
As I see it, that is more evidence to back up my claim that Facebook is just one massive circle-jerk. People jerking off each other frantically so they can be covered with that warm goo that makes them feel so special.
I’m too cool for Facebook.
Diaspora is where it happens now — for me.
Something really bizarre happened earlier. The missus mentioned Haarlem and I felt this really strong loss. As if Haarlem is where I belong. That it was my one purpose in life to stay there. It kind of scared me. Because I’m feeling more at home here in Oz, but I guess it’s that small and shallow feeling of not belonging. As if I only exist — nothing more.
Nothing…
“I’m too cool for Facebook.” haha, nice one!
And yeh, I can imagine how you must feel when you heard ‘Haarlem’. Whenever I get around to do an internship out of the country I might start feeling the same way.. Yet again, sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here haha. Ah well, Oz seems nice as well so :)
Yay I got an indirect mention!
I guess I gotta loosen up my conservative ways and check out Diaspora one of these days. Even though it only took me the better part of 5 years to find Twitter!
Just don’t go around missing Holland. Although everything has been a struggle since I left it 6 months ago, I finally feel like I’m waking up. That place kept me in a dazed state of mind. Back there I had roughly the same feeling you describe. Just existing. Having no purpose.
Just send me your email and I’ll send you an invite. :)
I know what you mean. Oz has given me the opportunity to actually be a journalist, but still, The Netherlands means a lot to me some way. I started out fresh there, got my life back on track and just had damn good time there. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.